If a child feels the deepest depths of sadness they’ve ever felt, and expresses it by becoming silent, laying their head down on their desk, and silent tears rolling down their face — adults will probably offer them comfort. Maybe tissues, maybe hugs, maybe a quiet listening ear.
If a child feels the deepest depths of sadness they’ve ever felt, and expresses it by clenching their fists, screaming at the sky, and running out of the room — adults will probably offer them anger, “consequences”, perhaps a behavior chart not to do it again.
Perhaps intentional ignoring them in their sadness, so that they learn not to do it again. Perhaps a new, designated adult to follow them around and make sure they stay in rooms.
Both children were desperately sad. One of them was heard. The difference was the adults.
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A quote that reads, “All kids have times when they struggle to handle expectations. How they express that they’re struggling has an outsized impact on how adults respond.” —Dr. Ross Greene
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