Ten things I could’ve done when my kid didn’t want to brush her teeth…
Nonverbal cue: Set the toothbrush down next to my kid. Toothpaste already loaded. Wordlessly.
Offer alternatives: Mouthwash, floss, a different flavor of toothpaste…
Playful: Announce that I see something silly in my kid’s mouth, and how I need to get it out.
Empathy + boundary: Pull her into my lap, talk about how toothbrushing can be tricky. Listen to her feelings. Wait for her to be ready. Don’t move on to something else until she feels heard.
Collaborative problem solving: Drop it for tonight. Brainstorm at another time about what makes this hard. Try to solve those problems.
Increase delight: Suggest we listen to her favorite song and do a “toothbrush dance”.
Reason: Explain age-appropriately (not fearmongering) why toothbrushing is important, and not just some arbitrary adult expectation.
Patience/slowing down to child speed: Simply wait beside her until she’s ready. Was she finished with what she was doing before? Be willing to take 2-3x as long.
Share power: Invite her to brush her own teeth. Or swap — me brush hers, she brush mine.
Distraction: Offer to brush teeth while watching a show, to minimize experiencing the sensory discomfort of this moment.
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Any of these might be the right choice at one time…any of these might not work at some time…any of these might feel too hard for me at some time…any of these might take some factor into account or miss some important factor for some families…
That’s why having more than one tool in my “tool belt” is so helpful. I can pull out different things on different days, or recognize that while one thing affects your family, it may not affect mine.
Bonus points homework: pick a different self-care task and contemplate 3, 5, or all 10 strategies and how they would affect that self-care task in your family.
If you want to practice physically filling them out, or want to print them and use them as a resource, you can do that! I’ve got a full-color version that has blanks replacing the toothbrush specific stuff, and also a greyscale version that’s friendly to printers. They’re available here!
